Research

On the family research front we are making great progress! I just started a PhD program under one of the nations leaders in domestic violence research and we are learning and gathering information that will help those victims of domestic violence. It is important to understand that Courage to Hope does not want to tear apart families, we only want to provide safety and protection, with the hope that we can improve family life in the future. The problem is real, it is big and it needs to be addressed.
There was a large domestic violence conference held in California a couple of months ago that I had the privilege of attending. When discussing world reports of domestic violence they were able to generalize many of the findings, but often excluded Ukraine from the mix for various reasons. We are trying to learn as much as we can, about domestic violence and the special circumstances of our Ukrainian project. We are excited with the progress taking place and continue our passion to help others!

Cultural Acceptance of Domestic Violence

Olya and Kristy in Utah, December 2008.

Domestic violence in Ukraine is an epidemic, and it will take more than a quick-fix Band-aid to resolve this issue. One of the main goals of Courage to Hope is to assist Ukrainian organizations to stop the generational plague of domestic violence. Individuals will lead better lives, families will be strengthened and the country will progress as violence and alcohol abuse become less socially acceptable.

I was sitting with my good friend, Olya, having lunch at Christmas time. We had met two years before in a small town in Northern Russia. I asked about her family, and she recounted that her mother and father were having troubles with their marriage again. Her father had started drinking heavily again, and he had become violent towards his wife. I was in shock at how calmly Olya told me this story. I asked, “why doesn’t your mother just leave or kick him out? Can’t she go to a relative’s home?” Olya explained that her mother does have relatives in the city where she could go, but it wouldn’t be acceptable. The culture breads an attitude of “you signed up for this.” If a woman is being beaten by her husband, then it is her fault for choosing a bad husband, and she doesn’t have any room to complain. Not even her immediate family would allow her safe refuge.

Domestics violence is a cultural norm, and generations of people are taught to turn their heads and “mind their own business” when they see others being abused. This cycle must stop. It’s not enough to pity women and children who are in abusive situations. We need to do something about it. I’m involved with Courage to Hope because I have seen what domestic violence does to families, and I have many friends who live in cultures where it is still acceptable. So, we ask for your help: help us help them. Help us give them the means to stop generational patterns of abuse.

International Women's Day - Memories

International women’s day.

A glorious holiday to support women all around the world. I have many fond memories of women’s day in Ukraine and how big that holiday is. The cards, chocolates, flowers and parties make mothers’ day in America look like grandparents’ day. There was an outpouring of love and affection to women everywhere.

Earlier today, I had the opportunity to call a dear friend of mine in Ukraine (picture above) and wish her and her daughter a happy women’s day. Even after two years, I think daily still of the relationships that I gained in Ukraine and the people I came to love so dearly. They are more than just friends to me; they are a part of my family.

How blessed we are to have such wonderful women in our lives and to be able to learn from their natures as caring individuals. Let us each cultivate a greater sense of admiration for the women in our lives.  

Zack Oates

Director Courage to Hope

From Chelsea Bennett

Why am I involved with Courage to Hope? I see women who are battered and suffering in my profession; to see a woman bruised and desperate for the slightest symbolism of hope has changed me, changed my perspective on life, my own abilities and my desire to reach out. I know there is a vital need for change and hope for those women who suffer. Being part of an organization like Courage to hope is life changing for all those who are involved, it is truly altruistic and with a group of young, capable, passionate students I recognize our reach is limited only by our dreams.
My name is Chelsea Bennett and I am completing my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at Brigham Young University. I will begin working on my PhD in the same field in another part of the country starting this Fall. I completed my bachelors of science from Brigham Young University in Marriage, Family and Human Development. Throughout my schooling I have had the opportunity of studying internationally and recognizing the needs of others. One internship in particular provided the research needed for many of the laws and regulations on families and marriage within the United States. I have participated in many different research projects in the last six years evaluating and obtaining information of healthy family functioning. I have also had the privilege of spending hundreds of hours providing therapy to couples, individuals and families. I have researched and studied abuse, violence and women focuses. Finally, the more I learn the more I have a burning desire to help.

From Kristy Ashworth

I got involved with Courage to Hope because I believe that this organization can really make a difference. I've always been interested in international development and humanitarian work, and every time I heard about things like this a little light would flash on inside of me, and I would think to myself, "I wish I were the kind of person who would do something like that." In 2004 I took my first leap outside my comfort zone and moved to Kiev, Ukraine where I volunteered teaching English. This experience changed my life. I fell in love with Eastern Europe, and caught a glimpse of the power of service and love.

I returned to Eastern Europe a year later to serve a mission in Moscow, Russia, where I worked very closely with families and young women, almost all of whom had been affected by drug and alcohol abuse or domestic violence. I listened to hours and hours of personal accounts of the dangers and set-backs these women face because of the social acceptance of substance abuse, domestic violence, and corruption.

Domestic violence is a plague that haunts every culture in every nation in the world. I am grateful for Courage to Hope because it has given me the chance to take a stand and use my passion and resources to help women who suffer. Some of my best friends live in cultures where domestic violence is socially acceptable, and I am grateful to be doing my part to give them a better life.

From Nat Harward

I am involved with Courage to Hope because I believe we can actually make a difference in many lives in many communities around the world. I believe it is possible to diminish violence against women, that there are rising generations of boys ready to treat women with respect, and that there are rising generations of girls ready to shed old stereotypes and seize new opportunities. I'm committed to Courage to Hope because Courage to Hope is committed to teaching and supporting the people who pioneer change. And I believe that no woman should live her life in total subjection and fear, stripped of individuality and personal expression.

At my first Courage to Hope meeting, I watched Zack tell a group of 20 people about encountering a victim of domestic abuse. As I considered the hopeless situation of this woman and many others, I looked around the room and realized that even a small band of people can unite to a common goal and affect change so that one day all women may have the courage to hope for a better life.

From Rilee Buttars

Why I want to be involved with Courage to Hope?

Well, I guess its because I am an extremist, an extremist with a myriad of ambitions. Not many people think its possible to combine communications with development and activism. "Opposite sides of the spectrum" they say. This year I began the journey as a copywriter in the creative track of the advertising sequence. I've quickly come to realize this introduction automatically deems me as "the creative type", all stereotypes included. I hate stereotypes. I'm not one-track minded, and quite honestly, feel suffocated by the expectation to fit into any mold. With that said, I end this preface with one connecting thought:

Some of us know how we came by our fortune and some of us don't, but we wear it all the same. There's only one question worth asking now. How do we aim to live with it? (Poison Wood Bible.)

I don't know why I was blessed to be born in the US, to a middle-class family and given the ability to attend a univesity etc. But I do know that I have the power to do something, and for me that something is using my talents and education for a better cause than selling people things they never knew they needed or wanted.

Yet, I do believe in the power of communications, the power of words and images, the power of speaking out, the power of dreaming, and yes, the power of women.

I was once asked to describe my life goal, and I explain it with two words: categories and mattering. I fit into three very distinct demographics. I am an LDS American woman. As such, I want to go out beyond the bubble and beyond the security to stand up against the oppression, negative perception, and stigma tagged to each of these traits.

Secondly and in short: life is about mattering. If at the close of the day you cannot say you personnally mattered to someone then the day was for naught. The path of international development, NGO's, and fighting domestic violence may be the extreme of this simple thought, but what else would you expect from a highly opinionated, passioanate, energetic extremist.

OR, you can just put it this way:

Because it feels right!