Olya and Kristy in Utah, December 2008.Domestic violence in Ukraine is an epidemic, and it will take more than a quick-fix Band-aid to resolve this issue. One of the main goals of Courage to Hope is to assist Ukrainian organizations to stop the generational plague of domestic violence. Individuals will lead better lives, families will be strengthened and the country will progress as violence and alcohol abuse become less socially acceptable.
I was sitting with my good friend, Olya, having lunch at Christmas time. We had met two years before in a small town in Northern Russia. I asked about her family, and she recounted that her mother and father were having troubles with their marriage again. Her father had started drinking heavily again, and he had become violent towards his wife. I was in shock at how calmly Olya told me this story. I asked, “why doesn’t your mother just leave or kick him out? Can’t she go to a relative’s home?” Olya explained that her mother does have relatives in the city where she could go, but it wouldn’t be acceptable. The culture breads an attitude of “you signed up for this.” If a woman is being beaten by her husband, then it is her fault for choosing a bad husband, and she doesn’t have any room to complain. Not even her immediate family would allow her safe refuge.
Domestics violence is a cultural norm, and generations of people are taught to turn their heads and “mind their own business” when they see others being abused. This cycle must stop. It’s not enough to pity women and children who are in abusive situations. We need to do something about it. I’m involved with Courage to Hope because I have seen what domestic violence does to families, and I have many friends who live in cultures where it is still acceptable. So, we ask for your help: help us help them. Help us give them the means to stop generational patterns of abuse.
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